How to sell to Malaysian and Singapore B2B buyers

A lot of what's written about selling in Malaysia and Singapore is aimed at foreign firms entering the market. If you're a local rep selling group cover to a family-run manufacturer in Penang, or software to a bank's regional office in Singapore, you need something more specific than etiquette tips. You need a way to sell relationship-first that still produces signed deals.

The Pharaoh's Pitch gives you three ideas that fit this work closely: giving face, finding each buyer's "personal win", and keeping the peace inside the buying group. Here is how to use them, with the words to say.

What relationship-first selling means (and what it doesn't)

Relationship-first selling means earning trust and the right to advise before you push for a decision. It doesn't mean months of lunches with no agenda, and it doesn't mean agreeing to everything the client asks.

Chapter 1 of the book draws a useful line between quick, price-driven product sales and solution sales like insurance or a CRM system, where the buyer won't see the benefit until much later. In the second kind, the book argues, what you are really selling is trust. Chapter 3 adds why: the buyer's own judgement is on the line, and a poor choice can hurt their standing at work.

The book is also clear that a relationship is not the same as entertaining. Chapter 2 tells of a salesperson whose entertainment budget was cut, who started meeting his client over coffee instead of dinner and used the time to listen. He learned what the client wanted for his own career, helped with it, and became the salesperson that client preferred to deal with.

Give face: the most practical idea for this market

Giving face means protecting your client's standing in the eyes of the people around them, even when those people aren't in the room. It is different from respect, and the difference changes what you do in a meeting.

In chapter 4, the book separates the two. Respect is what you give directly: preparing properly, arriving on time, dressing for the meeting.

Face is about seeing the client as part of a network of colleagues, family and friends, so you choose your words carefully and avoid winning an argument at the cost of their standing, even in a one-to-one conversation. As Ivan Yong puts it:

The next time you engage a client, imagine that when you are talking to your client, they are surrounded by their colleagues, family and friends.

The book traces giving face to Confucian thinking about harmonious relationships, and calls it a cultural nuance that is also a skill you can acquire. In markets as mixed as Malaysia and Singapore, hold it as a skill: don't try to guess from a client's name or background how much face matters to them.

Extend it to everyone. Nobody minds being made to look good in front of their boss.

Here is what that sounds like in practice.

Correcting a wrong assumption without making them wrong: "You're right that it worked that way under the old policy. The insurer changed the terms at the last renewal, so it's worth a quick look at what's different now."

Crediting your contact in front of their boss: "Puan Aisyah's team raised this in our first meeting, which is why the rollout plan starts with the claims process."

Giving a graceful way to say not yet: "If the timing isn't right this quarter, that's completely fine. Shall I send a one-page summary you can share internally when it comes up again?"

Two cautions. First, never criticise the provider your client chose; criticising their choice criticises them (more on that in what to say when a prospect is happy with their current provider).

Second, giving face is not giving in. Chapter 3 argues that yielding to every demand for extras and discounts produces unhappy clients and unhappier managers. You can hold your price and still protect the client's standing: "I've given you the best price I can get approved. What I can do is go through the scope with you, so it fits the budget you have."

Win the whole buying group, not just the senior person

A B2B decision involves several people, each with something they want for themselves from it, and your job is to keep the peace between them. Winning by going over someone's head can close the deal and still leave the people who backed you in a difficult position.

Chapter 4 makes this point using the Egyptian idea of ma'at, a divine balance that had to be maintained. A new system disrupts the balance inside a company, and in a CRM sale, for example, management, sales, finance and customer service may all have a say. Each department head has a personal win, and anyone who sees your solution as a threat to theirs will resist, even when the choice looks obvious.

Chapter 2 has a sharp example. A CEO agreed to buy a CRM system, then asked his general manager to sign off the implementation plan. The deal died in a loop of referral calls and requests for more information, because the general manager saw the system as a threat to his own importance to the CEO.

So map the group early, and find out what each person needs. Two questions that work:

• "When this is up and running, what would make it a win for you and your team, apart from the numbers?"
• "Who else will feel this change most, and what would they need to see before they're comfortable?"

When you need the senior decision-maker, go through the person who has been championing you, and make them look good: "Would it help if I prepared a one-page summary you could take to Datuk? Or I'm happy to come along, so you're not fielding the technical questions on your own."

Be courteous to everyone on the way in. Chapter 7 points out that gatekeepers, from security guards to secretaries, are often the key people to build rapport with. Use the titles printed on the card, Datuk, Dr or otherwise, and if you're unsure how someone prefers to be addressed, ask their assistant beforehand.

Build trust before you arrive, and keep it after you leave

Trust starts before the first meeting and continues after it. Chapter 6 calls these "pitching began before the meeting" and "pitching continues after the pitch".

Before: buyers look you up, so what they find online is part of your pitch. Then meet the simplest expectation of all. The book says you must not be late, especially to a first meeting, because if you can't keep a small promise, the client has no reason to believe the big ones.

Chapter 4 tells of the author sharing a taxi with a stranger in Singapore to avoid being late for an appointment in Jurong, and of the trust that conversation built in a short ride. Our guide to preparing for a first sales meeting covers the rest of the groundwork.

During: promise only what you can deliver, and keep your message consistent from meeting to meeting. If the client trusts you with their budget, chapter 6 is blunt that you should still charge fairly rather than quote up to the limit. More on this in building trust in the first meeting.

After: make your follow-ups pick up where the conversation left off, not restart the pitch. "When we met on Tuesday you mentioned the board wants fewer claims complaints this year. I've attached the two-page claims process we discussed, with the turnaround times your HR team asked about."

Relationship-first doesn't have to mean slow

You can take your time over the relationship and still keep the deal moving. The difference is a clear purpose for every meeting and a dated next step at the end of it, with no pressure tactics in between.

The book is firmly against pressure. Chapter 3 calls out tactics like the price that is "only valid today", noting that a savvy buyer will simply call the bluff, and argues that authority must come before power. Chapter 5 recommends going into every meeting with at least one objective, such as finding out who the decision-makers are or how the buying process works.

So don't expect a decision in the first meeting of a considered purchase. Ask about the process instead: "So I don't waste your time, could you walk me through how a decision like this usually gets made here, and who else would want a say?"

Then plan around the client's calendar, not just yours. Key people often take leave around Hari Raya, Chinese New Year, Deepavali and the year-end holidays, and the client's own budget cycle may decide when money is available.

And treat a polite "we'll consider it" as what it is: not a commitment anywhere. Our guide to answering "let me think about it" shows how to turn it into a next step without pushing.

When you're unsure of the norms, read the room and ask

You will sometimes misread a custom, especially with a client whose background differs from yours. That is recoverable, and noticing it quickly matters more than knowing every rule in advance.

Chapter 7 tells of a dinner in Singapore with a visiting client from Japan, whose friendly conversation suddenly stopped. The client's glass was empty, and as the host the author was expected to refill it; a colleague had to step in.

The client didn't hold it against him and even praised him for learning fast. The lesson the book draws:

The ability to "read the room" is a skill that anyone can master, if they pay attention to the details.

In practice, watch who speaks first, who defers to whom, and whose reaction the others check before they answer. When in doubt, ask your contact before the meeting rather than guessing in it: "Before Thursday, is there anything I should know about how Datuk likes meetings to run?" Most people are glad to be asked, and the question itself shows you care about getting it right.